Ms. kittywhore's Journal

Happy Thanksgiving
11/25/09

Have a yummy and fun time

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Criminal Minds

8 hours for a minute
11/24/09

Monday:

I was an extra in "Feed" - I went to be an extra in a party scene at 2PM and at 8PMish we started to shoot the scene and were done by 10:30PM..... which was okay cause filming - can often be like that.... and we were have a great little party while waiting to shoot and it wonderful to see a bunch of folks I hadn't seen in a while and some people I had not hung out with before...

O' and in the film their is a great line - that want me to have a long term meaningless relationship just so I can use it: "You were the one night stand that lasted a whole year."

Tuesday:

Today - I saw two clients and am try to caught up on stuff...

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Bad reality TV

Must sees and listen to-s
11/22/09

The radio show on FCC Free Radio with Vagabondage (which means - to take a trip with out a destination... a good motto for life) was wonderful. Cindy and John are so funny and the music was amazing - http://www.lilycat.com/radioshow112209.mp3

Had a funny conversation with a friend - she the only person who in telling one life story could use both the phrases - "I had a threesome with a porn star" and "Actually, I'm really a prude."

Went with two friends to see a great - must see play ( funny, grat song, and trippy special effects)
November 27- Jan 23 (Fri & Sat)- Pearls Over Shanghai - Hypnodrome, SF-8PM-$20
w/ original Cockettes members

It remind me of how SF was... before I got here....that I missed... but they are bringing back....so cool...

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Vagabondage's songs in my head

Life doesn't always goes as planned
11/22/09

Did coffee with the FCC Free Radio folks, but the movie got canceled.

I came up with a quacky event idea to purpose to the Red Vic .. so I went to the Haight to talk to them and looked around a few thrifts.... also, I went to flirt with a cute guy at Mario's - found out he does actually have a brian (only heard him talk about getting drunk before this)... but ended up spending most of my short time there talking to a woman who had a miscarriage and DNC earlier in the day...

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Law and order

I know we are all struggling artist
11/21/09

I have to say I get a bit mother lion.. when I see people hurting, cheating, using, or even not really appreciating my friends...

So, I was helping out a t a benefit for my friend's women's festival... and I'm on the board and she talks with me on the ins and out of the biz side ... so I know they are struggling, got less grant money, and this festival (even in better economy years) barely breaks even...

... So after the show, my friend got a lot of food and had a party for the dancers and the audience... food free and she was asking for donations for the drinks... I did have of the bar shift for the party ... and people didn't like me bartending cause I honestly tried to get a donation from folks, which I guess the earlier woman wasn't trying as hard.... I got a fair amount of excuses and b.s on why they weren't making a donation and they people that added in two to three bucks... acted like they just given me CPR...

I know we all are poor... but you need to kick out some cash to get shit face drunk (and some of these folks were) instead for letting another struggling person cover the expense...

But the show had a couple of really good acts - two funny mature lesbian women, two great multimedia dancers, and two great sings, and another funny woman.... then there was some modern dance - I didn't really get...

Current Mood: exanimate
Current Music: silence

I'm going to bed
11/19/09

I'm going to bed early tonight... it wasn't a hard day... I saw two clients and worked in the office some and it isn't like I have been doing tons this week but I just feel like I need sleep.

Question - better setting for an erotica about having your soul and body naked.... a writing teacher and student or two people who meant on-line SKYPE- ing

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: SuperNatural

So, why do I want a biker?
11/18/09

So, I placed an ad on Craig's list about a week ago... saying I was looking for a biker to go along with the used Harley Davidson boots I got at the thrift...

I got the pushy 60 year old lawyer guy, who said he just wanted eye candy for the back of his bike
The needy and pushy - 65 year old
A flakey and seminally not bright 30 year Irish guy
.... I'm sort of turning them down...

A scary looking - guy who is a bit too buff ... he is I guy turning me down

And maybe's - some 6'4 guy, who keeps calling me little girl
Some - shy guy - who is in the Sunset

And one interesting guy... who thought to ask why I want a biker....
... I'm thinking -cause they have big vibrators, that can bring you places... is a bad answer...

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Top Chef

I'd take you to a movie, if you hadn't gone through withdrawl during the last movie
11/17/09

So, I love the al department - all staff meeting... the big boss makes bad jokes as he explains why we may not see a cost of living increase for a while... he gives us hope that things are going well... then shows us the headlines about more budget cuts to health services...

I went to see 765, ran errands and saw a Shanti friend, who says he been staying out of trouble (off of speed) for three months... he wants me to go with him to a movie, but
- He stood up the last three times before today - we tried to get together to do coffee
- I wants to see movies I don't want to see
- Make me pay for him most of the time
- Fell asleep a couple of times during the movies
- And I'm pretty sure the serious shaking/ seizing during one bad horror movie was him starting to go through withdrawl

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: Sons of Anarchy

Ian Mackaye save me....
11/16/09

Some days ... I just think to myself ... maybe the straightedge life style should be mandatory...

Today as I enter the lobby of my work, which is a crises center and methadone treatment center... the security guard was once again telling someone they were no longer invited in ...

In the office we talked about which clients may be in danger of O.D.ing again and who may be back on speed...

I went with one of the nurses and social workers to see 980, who either needs drugs in or to take drugs out of his life .. cause he acts like he is either manic or on speed - much of the time...
... he didn't answer the door and since he is behind in his reasseasement and won't talk to us & we can never reach him on the phone (he doesn't have voice mail set up & gives his phone to his 'Diva' girl roommate to use for work)

I went to run and errand and ran into a friend who was having a few drinks cause he just got a battery charge cause he accidently hit someone with his back pack, while in line to get his medical marjuana card....
... while chatting with him ... a friend just out of rehab called me...

But we amazed the hell out of a woman with her baby on the N-Judah joking about all of this... and scarily this isn't as odd for me as it should be...

Current Mood: Arrgggg
Current Music: News

People and music rock!
11/14/09- 11/15/09

People rock...

From the staff at my neighborhood Italian joint, who had a discussion with me about books, while I waited for my food.. I guess not enough people read cause they all seemed to be amazed I was reading..

To the wonderful folks who worked on Go-Go Spectacular, which rocked and are doing so a sweet love fest group email now.. .. The show was great, it was wonderful seeing everyone, and the performances were spectacular..

To running into Harvey on N-Judah ride, and even the cab driver I had, who wanted me to help diagnosis his illness that included dizziness & blurry vision... which did make me a bit nervous..

Also, I'm getting my flirt back...

So here is the playlist for this weeks radio show - which was me playing music and babbling...

Playlist:
Eric MacFadden -Freaks Like Us
Storm Large - 8 Miles
Pansy Division - Boyfriend Wanted
Tribe 8 - Radar Love
Pussy Tourette - If I can't sell it
Marginal Prophets - I'm the best lover
Throw Rag - Please Don't touch me
Avenue Q - Mixed Tape
The Evens - If it is Water
Cramps - Strange Love
BatBoy - Joyful Noise
Fugazi - Latest Disgrace
Uncle Bonsai - Don't Put it in Your Mouth
Under Cover Ska - Come on in Sin
Little Shop of Horrors - Dentist
Gun & Doll Show - Thief of Love
Kitten on the Key - Grandma sells my panties on eBay!
Frank Sinatra - American Beauty Rose
Storm Large - Ladylike
Evil Dead -Blwe that Bitch Away
Throw Rag - Bad Seeds
Fugazi - Do you like me

Current Mood: loved
Current Music: Simpsons

What I learned today..
11/13/09

A little razor cut ... can really bleed a lot....

If you are going to nearly O.D. for the third time... we are GOING to suggest assisted living...

If you can't finish a set piece ... just use hot dancing girls...
... and if the set is starting to a fall down, make jokes about it...

Bands like to be loud...

Chaos will happen so just keep to the beat...

People will talk so be nice...

And there is a chance my feet are following off...

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: silence

I have to keep tell myself I don't have time to be sick
11/13/09 -

I have too much to do to be sick now ... silly body..

O' and post on Craig's list you want a man to match your shoes... and suddenly guys are interested... I'm not sure I have time to deal with them all..

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: heater and fan

Trying to get my shit together
11/10/09 - 11/12/09

Tuesday:

I got to see two clients and help them, add the data to Aries(my first time on this new program... not as hard as I thought... though the intergeration of client info from different agencies has caused duplications and some confusion); also took a class in "Getting your shit together" at Indy Arts (best part was when the artist actually talked to each other about the their plans, goals, fears, and hang ups.... it was a cool group therapy thing)

Wednesday:

Ate breakfast with a friend, washed clothes, and tackling to -do list.... As overwhelmed as I feel... hear a woman on a cell phone talking about maybe having a miscarriage .... maybe me feel I'm lucky... as a note I did ask her if she was okay and needed help, but she and her Dr had it covered...

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Freak Accident

Words of the day
11/09/09

"Presence" as a promotional device and "Being part of the conversation" as a survival tip for non-profits.

Also, "Chaos Kitty" - People who constantly seem to have the most bizarre problem and situations going on in their lives; things that seem like they only occur under the most strangest of circumstances.

Cause to be aware of:... cause we all should care about this...
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/04/11/MNK217038L.DTL

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: News

I hear ghosts
11/8/09

So, I interviewed people from the SF Ghost Society on FCC Free Radio today... we heard a knock at the door during the interview and no one was there... and the damn ghosts changed on of the CDs on me...

I have a podcast of the show at: http://www.lilycat.com/radioshows.html
Or more directly - http://www.lilycat.com/radioshow110809.mp3

Playlist:
Eric MacFadden - Freaks Like Us
Nick Cave - Lay me low
The Slow Poisoners - Strange Things are Happening
Elvis Costello - All the Rage
Fugazi - Downed City

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Bad TV

I flirt in a mom way...
11/7/09

I did an "counseling" session of sorts via the phone and looked for some friend's lost dog in the park (hugged a hippie and drank a bit with a neighbor during the search).

I went to Random Idiot Factory and Booty Call Etiquette at the Dark Room - both wonderful shows...

After BCE - I was check in on a drunk person and I think he thought I was flirting... and another guy - a normally troubled soul - I think thought I was flirting with too... the sad thing is in my youth, I would be so hardcore flirting with the troubled soul... but now I'm old and I feel all mother like and want to make sure he is okay.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Nightmare Before Halloween Soundtrack

KUSF & zombies
11/7/09

After doing my end of the week - data work, reports, and scheduling... I went to do lunch with some KUSF staff...
... then went to the Cherry Bleeds Happy Hour reading event... the stories were fabulous ... zombie gang bang, clown sex, a special geno-exam, time in prison, confessions of a horny teenage jehovah witness, and some cool poems....

And I got to get rid of a problem person also (who BSed me then blamed it all on my friend, who was acting ideal .. but he wasn't completely wrong on a lot of stuff... remember SF it is a small - close place... so I can most like coma across someone's friend who will tell me the really story )... so it was a good day....

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Law and order

Line of a true user
11/4/09

"Thanks a lot for understanding. Rough times, but we'll get through it."

I always hear this line as I'm being screwed or right before...

I puked a bit is my mouth...

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Criminal Minds

It is a bit about the numbers
11/4/09

So had a long talk with a client about getting back on the HIV meds - his t-calls are 70 and viral load is 70,000; which he knows isn't good but he feel the med destroy his thought process... we talked about balance and moderation in drinking...

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: bad sitcom

One more brain dump about fight or flight
11/4/09

There are a lot of fucked up things that happen and people do that make people feel scared, angry, backed into a corner...

Some people fight the best way (or only way) they know how and it might not be the best way ... and it maybe stupid, crazy, over the top, bully, mean....

Then people often use flight - avoidance - ignorance - "I can't do anything attitude' ...and they get used or hurt or other do often...

As life goes on I'm finding less easy answers, right ways... and more that it is just people doing or not...

At the end of the day - it is all hard to say at times..

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Silence

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